Friday, March 27, 2009
VOCABULARY WORD OF THE DAY- "LIQUIDITY'
Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
CAPITALISM.. Affirmative Support in Sweden!
With capitalism failure is a part of life. Some ventures win and some lose. Some are well run, some are not. Where in the United States Constitution does it imply the government should become venture capitalists with tax payer money? In fact, the Constitution doesn't provide for the Federal Reserve either. KUDOS TO SWEDEN!! General Motors, which owns majority of SAAB, asked the Swedish Government to help keep SAAB afloat. Sweden's answer? "The Swedish state is not prepared to own car factories." As it should be, I think.
IRONY AND OUTRAGE !
As one studies the founding of this country, it's interesting to note that our forefathers fled their homeland to escape high taxation and governmental control and intrusion. This historic indebtedness and control of companies by government can only lead to massive taxation. The current Obama income tax plan, as we watched it explained on television, raises the percentage of people who pay no income taxes from 42 up to 50%. Guess who is going to pay for all of this? It appears 72% of the taxes will come from households and small businesses that have income of $92,000 or more. It's ironic that we have and are creating the very environment that our forefathers fled. To where do we flee? I have never written a Congressman or Senator about issues. Maybe it's time to express my outrage?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
BANNED FROM WAL-MART...
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. My wife insists that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I find shopping boring and prefer getting in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women -loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:
“Dear Mrs. Samsel:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and we have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and as people browsed he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least,
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards,
Tom Richards
Manager"
“Dear Mrs. Samsel:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and we have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and as people browsed he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least,
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards,
Tom Richards
Manager"
A KIND-HEARTED LAWYER..
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
" We don't have any money for food" the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said." "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.", the man replied. "Bring them along," the lawyer said.
Turning to the other poor man he said, "You come with us, also." The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
" We don't have any money for food" the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said." "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.", the man replied. "Bring them along," the lawyer said.
Turning to the other poor man he said, "You come with us, also." The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
Monday, March 23, 2009
IN THIS ECONOMY WHICH OF THESE WOULD LOSE HIS JOB FIRST ? (Click on Photo to Enlarge)
(Yea right, probably Andre?)
THINK ABOUT IT....
President Obama signed his Stimulus Package on the same desk as President Clinton got his Package Stimulated.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)